beautiful full lips, a delightful smile, and rich creamy black skin. But of course, she didn’t believe any of this, and even if she did, she knew these were the very assets that made her an outcast and confirmed that she was an ugly freak.
She watched Randy Slade approach Trina Josephs and speak to her quietly, causing her to blush and giggle, then walk with him to the front of the class. And Dale Walker approached Carolyn Pindar, and Mark Seasons picked Michelle Traynor, and even Barry and Bobby Thomas quickly found willing, gushing partners, Carolyn Naples and Marilyn Haynes, so that the front of the class was becoming crowded. Meanwhile, Dina, Delia Rosas and a few others, remained at their desks, their unpopularity confirmed by their isolation.
For Dina, being unpopular was nothing new. She had never been gregarious or outgoing, even at Potomac, where she was often resented for being different, for being a snob who spoke with clear, white elocution, read in the fast group, and got high grades. Nor did she participate in the perpetual playground intrigues and dramas, usually keeping to herself, which provoked more suspicion and contempt.
If Dina hoped she’d find solace from the other two black students, Barry and Bobby Thomas, she was quickly disappointed. They wanted nothing to do with this chunky, not-even-light-skinned black girl. They were every bit as nerdy as Dina – they’d scored well on the IQ tests too – but they were boys and very outgoing, so their dark skin was perceived as exotic rather than unfortunate and they had no trouble finding dance partners. Dina was the last girl they’d think of picking.
As the final dancers coupled up, Dina saw Dwight Jensen, the tiny white-skinned, white-haired boy who played the cello, walking toward the back of the room. She wondered where he was going. Did he have to use the restroom?
#
Maybe because she was already accustomed to being an outcast, Dina didn’t feel particularly isolated in an all-white school. She didn’t grasp the significance of these circumstances, the integration of one of Bakersfield’s elementary schools. She was not aware that in places like Alabama there were civil rights marches and riots and National Guard troops escorting black students into formerly all-white classrooms. She was already accustomed to being one of the only black people in a crowd, at the market or the movies. She didn’t even give a lot of thought to Darryl Markham’s question during the first week of school as they stood near the sand box watching other kids swing on the monkey bars when he asked, “Are both of your parents niggers?”
She knew the word nigger was not a complimentary term, but in the over-all scheme of things, given the general chaos and hostility